Fiber Sugar?

Dear FiberOne,
I found some of your blueberry muffins in my freezer.  I did not buy you, but I would like to thank you for making my dinner slightly more interesting.  Being the week before spring break I have no desire to go buy more food, let alone cook it.  So finding ready made food in my freezer was quite the win.  Maybe because you were in the freezer for more than three months or because you're supposed to be healthy, I don't know the reason, but you tasted aweful (and you don't expire until next year).  The kind of aweful that you don't want to eat, but for some reason you just want to keep eating more and you don't understand why and you start to question your sanity.  I made such a fuss that my roommate had to try you and she decided that you tasted "healthy."  So I looked at the ingredients and this is what I found in you:

I would first like to point out that the healthy taste is true: 7g of fiber is too much.  But the interesting part is that there are 15g of sugar, and its listed as the second ingredient.  With all that sugar, you'd think the muffin thing would taste better.  And lastly, what is inulin?  I keep reading it as insulin, and frankly, I don't want to eat insulin.  I can't even imagine what that could do to me.  I'll take my "cure" to diabetes in syringe form, thank you very much.  Oh, and what is invert syrup?  Seriously, if you're supposed to be healthy, I should be able to recognize, read and understand what all the ingredients are and where they come from.
Sincerely,
a disgruntled and slightly hungry college girl

Arthritic Knees

Dear Ice Cubes,

Thank you so much for making my knees feel better today.  It was so nice and sunny out that I could not help but go outside and rollerblade.  I used to rollerblade every week and it has been about four months since I last skated.  Despite the 18mph winds it was a wonderful skate and I'm super glad I went.  But, when I got back and sat down and took of the skates and started walking around, I realized my knees hurt a bit.  I tried leaving them straight on the coffee table, on the couch and I tried bending them on the floor but nothing worked.  Walking was difficult and my knees were super stiff.  So, ice cubes, thank you for sitting on my knees for twenty minutes while I ate my cheerios.  I may have felt like an old arthritic woman, but after those twenty minutes -man, my knees felt great.  So, ice cubes, keep it up.

Sincerely,

an young but old arthritic woman

It smells like summer

Dear Mid-Winter's Night Breeze,

Thank you so much for smelling like summer in my hometown.  You have made my day and made my apartment smell wonderful.  Somehow I have been extremely productive because of you and no longer know what to do with myself.  I know the forecast says you'll be back to freezing tomorrow, but please stay warm, my productivity needs a boost.

You also smell like rain and that's nice.  But, that's probably because you are raining.

Sincerely,
A summer lover